Blurry by Puddle of Mudd.

Middle school. 2002. My first boyfriend.

Those are the times I think of whenever I hear this song. It was our song and I guess in a way, it remains so.

It’s not a love song, more of a love-hate. It’s about a relationship that has been completely ripped apart. The person still misses the other but at the same time, they are very angry by all the pain the other person has caused.

I first discovered this song and listened to their 2001 album, Come Clean, so much to the point that I had to buy a replacement because the old one got scratched. What’s so ironic is that the song never reminded me of pain or heartbreak, or a broken relationship. There was just something about it…certain lyrics in the song that really reflected what I was feeling. But in the end, that song ultimately predicted what would happen between me and the first guy I ever really cared about.

It’s hard to believe that it has been ten years. And after all this time, I briefly talked to that guy last summer. He sent me a text saying he was at a Puddle of Mudd concert and then he wrote part of the lyrics to the song. It was the first time in several years that he brought it up, the one thing that can’t help but make us think of the past.

The lead singer of the band, Wes Scantlin, was going through a break-up & missing his son at the time it was recorded. His son, Jordan, is actually the boy in the video with him. He was five years old at the time.


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